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Goddess_Rummy

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Goddess_Rummy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 February 1988 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5340
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Goddess_Rummy : FML is really beginning to suck. =\

Goddess_Rummy's page activity

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Goddess_Rummy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Goddess_Rummy's badges

Goddess_Rummy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

#18495546
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37006) - you deserved it (4063)

On 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm - kids - by Santa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML

#18491546
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38230) - you deserved it (3714)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:23am - intimacy - by brokedick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML

#18443890
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26135) - you deserved it (6954)

On 12/06/2011 at 9:33am - health - by aceshot97 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

#18442562
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30751) - you deserved it (7524)

On 12/06/2011 at 2:03am - money - by BrokeandDesperate (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33122) - you deserved it (3957)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35056) - you deserved it (11675)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

#18309491
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34666) - you deserved it (7013)

On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9480) - you deserved it (114843)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41909) - you deserved it (23409)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26764) - you deserved it (4928)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13704) - you deserved it (35001)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13704) - you deserved it (35001)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40801) - you deserved it (5247)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54624) - you deserved it (17381)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53592) - you deserved it (8336)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)



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