About Goddess_Rummy : FML is really beginning to suck. =\
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24176) - you deserved it (2258)
On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (6910)
On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa
Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17821) - you deserved it (3371)
On 12/21/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Derpina - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30750) - you deserved it (2952)
On 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm - kids - by Santa - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29523) - you deserved it (2561)
On 12/12/2011 at 1:23am - intimacy - by brokedick (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20391) - you deserved it (5311)
On 12/06/2011 at 9:33am - health - by aceshot97 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (5676)
On 12/06/2011 at 2:03am - money - by BrokeandDesperate (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24483) - you deserved it (2854)
On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27982) - you deserved it (8708)
On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27030) - you deserved it (5268)
On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6547) - you deserved it (79181)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32107) - you deserved it (17087)
On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20712) - you deserved it (3700)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10275) - you deserved it (24372)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10275) - you deserved it (24372)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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