Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Goddess_Rummy

Search for a member

Goddess_Rummy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 February 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3594
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Goddess_Rummy : FML is really beginning to suck. =\

Goddess_Rummy's page activity

Visits<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:49am<b>tree10010011101</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 7:27am<b>billionair11</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 10:30pm<b>rorynobz</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 3:59am<b>SOGbirds</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 12:14am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 2:27am<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 9:07pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 3:51am<b>pizza_pizza_pie</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 9:31pm<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 4:01pm<b>german_boy97</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 1:14pm<b>terribletowel64</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 11:27am<b>AGB10</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 8:20pm<b>Aeroxx1337</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:16am<b>Jlnjln15</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 8:06pm<b>adania</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 10:38am<b>thebreadtruck</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 9:48pm<b>vaxanas</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 3:30am

Goddess_Rummy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Goddess_Rummy's badges

Goddess_Rummy's favorite FMLs

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML

#18569258
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (4555)

On 12/21/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Derpina - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

#18495546
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36804) - you deserved it (3918)

On 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm - kids - by Santa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML

#18491546
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36405) - you deserved it (3545)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:23am - intimacy - by brokedick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML

#18443890
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25308) - you deserved it (6852)

On 12/06/2011 at 9:33am - health - by aceshot97 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

#18442562
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29992) - you deserved it (7421)

On 12/06/2011 at 2:03am - money - by BrokeandDesperate (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31304) - you deserved it (3782)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34207) - you deserved it (11469)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

#18309491
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33144) - you deserved it (6814)

On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8567) - you deserved it (108328)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39705) - you deserved it (22596)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26459) - you deserved it (4900)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13600) - you deserved it (34761)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13600) - you deserved it (34761)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40494) - you deserved it (5224)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51812) - you deserved it (16549)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: