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Goddess_Rummy

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Goddess_Rummy
  • Town/Country : In the clouds, Here
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 February 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 2172
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Goddess_Rummy : FML is really beginning to suck. =\

Goddess_Rummy's last visitors

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Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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Goddess_Rummy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15902) - you deserved it (5039)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

#3469
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15898) - you deserved it (2139)

On 01/29/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24419) - you deserved it (3092)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11478) - you deserved it (3052)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

#2412
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19520) - you deserved it (5209)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:50am - money - by waitingformyfoodstamps - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML

#1975
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20923) - you deserved it (1264)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by mat - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend, when she walked ahead of me cat-walk style, turned around and said, "Do you think I could model?" I blurted out, "Yes... for a plus-size clothing line." FML

#1434
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3780) - you deserved it (33383)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:15am - love - by FailMan - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I enjoy reading this site and other people's suffering just to feel better about my own life. FML

#818
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17465) - you deserved it (4713)

On 01/08/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by sampaloompy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

#345
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17165) - you deserved it (3655)

On 11/19/2008 at 11:37pm - misc - by lageste - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

#345
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17165) - you deserved it (3655)

On 11/19/2008 at 11:37pm - misc - by lageste - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

#345
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17165) - you deserved it (3655)

On 11/19/2008 at 11:37pm - misc - by lageste - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

#345
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17165) - you deserved it (3655)

On 11/19/2008 at 11:37pm - misc - by lageste - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

#303
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32368) - you deserved it (17539)

On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version



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