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Goddess_Rummy

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Goddess_Rummy
  • Town/Country : In the clouds, Here
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 February 1988 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 2796
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Goddess_Rummy : FML is really beginning to suck. =\

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Goddess_Rummy's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked past a group of men at the mall and one of them mooed at me. FML

#7916627
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23046) - you deserved it (5572)

On 02/05/2010 at 9:18pm - misc - by LynnJ (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23839) - you deserved it (7841)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23929) - you deserved it (30637)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

#7084392
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23144) - you deserved it (3131)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32004) - you deserved it (15289)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML

#6940089
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30422) - you deserved it (3108)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (6666)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

#6934352
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6883) - you deserved it (46755)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

#6811696
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32598) - you deserved it (3398)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML

#6681986
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30571) - you deserved it (3468)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:06pm - love - by boogerbrain (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

#6676147
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39176) - you deserved it (2368)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

#6665165
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14516) - you deserved it (3188)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

#6665165
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14516) - you deserved it (3188)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

#6553131
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41933) - you deserved it (7258)

On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

#6532401
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31459) - you deserved it (2457)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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