Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Goddess_Rummy

Search for a member

Goddess_Rummy
  • Town/Country : In the clouds, Here
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 February 1988 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 2793
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Goddess_Rummy : FML is really beginning to suck. =\

Goddess_Rummy's last visitors

xivoricbutterflyCaptMurdockgerman_boy97AGB10adaniathebreadtruck

Goddess_Rummy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Goddess_Rummy's badges

Goddess_Rummy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27087) - you deserved it (3621)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

#12051058
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30118) - you deserved it (13575)

On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36085) - you deserved it (9466)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML

#11825114
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26992) - you deserved it (4557)

On 07/12/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by Wrongtoilet (man) - Singapore

Today, I finally worked up the courage to talk to this hot guy in my law school contracts class. His response? "I'm no fashion expert, but I don't think you're supposed to wear purple underwear with white pants. Not that it matters, though, because your zipper is wide open." FML

#10604830
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13770) - you deserved it (30226)

On 05/18/2010 at 1:22am - love - by Dana422 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I lectured my second-grade class to be more descriptive in their writing. I gave them an assignment to describe something in the classroom. I was grading their work later, and one student wrote, "My class is taught by a fat teacher with gray hair." FML

#10541725
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24149) - you deserved it (15327)

On 05/15/2010 at 3:47am - kids - by Teaching26 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

#9066532
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19629) - you deserved it (8858)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

#8965492
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20740) - you deserved it (3025)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

#8910408
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25948) - you deserved it (1606)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML

#8770884
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7518) - you deserved it (32988)

On 03/02/2010 at 10:53am - animals - by Jeff - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML

#8767827
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28277) - you deserved it (2675)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:14am - misc - by Celeste - Singapore

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38689) - you deserved it (8815)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

#8730305
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17361) - you deserved it (8683)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by hornyloser770 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

#8492121
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7666) - you deserved it (19836)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by AwwChute (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML

#7946141
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6696) - you deserved it (12488)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Sully (man) - United States (Oregon)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: