Goddess_Rummy

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Goddess_Rummy

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 February 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6757
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Goddess_Rummy : FML is really beginning to suck. =\

Goddess_Rummy's page activity

Visits<b>riyaap13</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 8:33am<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 10:49pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 12:05am<b>MurderMelons</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 4:31am<b>Jackek</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:18pm<b>KobeLebroJordan</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:15am<b>Brunofk7</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 4:39am<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:37pm<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:49am<b>tree10010011101</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 7:27am<b>billionair11</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 10:30pm<b>rorynobz</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 3:59am<b>SOGbirds</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 12:14am<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 9:07pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 3:51am<b>pizza_pizza_pie</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 9:31pm<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 4:01pm<b>german_boy97</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 1:14pm

Fucked!<b>Jackek</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:19am

Goddess_Rummy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Goddess_Rummy's badges

Goddess_Rummy's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

by CaptainSaveAHoe / 09/10/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm / United States / Love

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

by klanciee / 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

by checkup / 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

by LetItRip / 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

by Concert Flatulent / 07/10/2012 at 12:44am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 9:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

by needmorelocks / 07/03/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML

by cmck932012 / 06/26/2012 at 2:18am / United States (Georgia) / Work