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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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GodBarack

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GodBarack
  • Town/Country : Cairns, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 22 April 1996 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 771
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About GodBarack : Self-confessed nerd. Simple as that :)

GodBarack's last visitors

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GodBarack's favorite FMLs

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML

#18897054 (310)

I agree, your life sucks (5329) - you deserved it (1422)

On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

#18126270 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (9958) - you deserved it (1226)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

#18086799 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (22881) - you deserved it (5165)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (27580) - you deserved it (3168)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (34876) - you deserved it (3401)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738 (502)

I agree, your life sucks (9970) - you deserved it (6572)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (25656) - you deserved it (7525)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

#17903189 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (7813) - you deserved it (807)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:10am - misc - by dmanrique - United States (Texas)

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

#17897207 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (3078)

On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I finally admitted that I have to consider buying a nose hair trimmer. I'm a woman. FML

#17894495 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (7093) - you deserved it (1032)

On 10/03/2011 at 8:08am - health - by smsmall - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

#17892835 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (25092) - you deserved it (3768)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, on my way to work I swerved to avoid hitting a dead animal. Too bad I ended up hitting a live one instead. FML

#17885184 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (8138) - you deserved it (2344)

On 10/02/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513 (440)

I agree, your life sucks (10049) - you deserved it (2577)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML

#17877097 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (18089) - you deserved it (3881)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

#17876409 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (5618) - you deserved it (40497)

On 10/01/2011 at 2:48am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.