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Gloritank's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Gloritank's favorite FMLs
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
by ilovedirt / 07/09/2011 at 11:12pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health
by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money
Today, I went to the park with a girl I like. She got playful and climbed a tree, insisting I come up, too. While we were sitting and enjoying the view, she suddenly knocked me off the branch, sending me crashing to the ground. FML
by wolf boy / 07/09/2011 at 8:13pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by Beanzbeanz / 07/09/2011 at 11:19am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML
by JohnyP / 07/09/2011 at 3:04am / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
Today, I was supposed to have a double date. My date didn't show. I spent my day in the living room waiting for the pizza guy while my best friend and her boyfriend made out. The pizza guy never showed either. FML
by supergingerr11 / 07/09/2011 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my ex's wedding, I had to listen to his joyful recounting of how he met his bride and how they fell instantly in love and he knew she was perfect for him. All this happened while we were still dating. FML
by OnlyMee / 07/09/2011 at 12:32am / United States (California) / Love
by Flarewolf / 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by uetlqdja / 05/21/2011 at 11:31am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML
by SophieGray / 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm / United States (New York) / Animals
by Username / 05/09/2011 at 3:38am / Transportation
by mugged / 12/15/2010 at 6:58am / Germany (Hessen) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
by fulloshit / 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by rockefoe / 11/15/2010 at 3:49pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by unknown / 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm / United States (Florida) / Love
- Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to… Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let… Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced…