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Gloritank's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Gloritank's favorite FMLs
Today, after having saved up my money for months to buy my college-bound son the car of his dreams, I got a phone call telling me it had been totalled during a drag-race. I only gave him the keys two days ago. FML
by disappointed / 09/22/2011 at 11:08pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 1:20am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 2:39pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
by DeadScared / 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/18/2011 at 5:24pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by painful / 07/24/2011 at 4:55am / Norway (Akershus) / Transportation
Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML
by muffintop / 07/10/2011 at 10:34pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML
by asianjoe / 07/10/2011 at 9:13pm / United States (Utah) / Work
Today, after spending 6 months and $15,000 on lawyer fees at my 13 year old son's request, his abusive, alcoholic father no longer has any legal right to see him. How did my son repay me? He ran away to live with his father the very first time I told him he couldn't have friends sleep over. FML
by tomcat69 / 07/10/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/10/2011 at 7:51pm / United States / Health
by Canuckster / 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML
by worstfatherever / 07/10/2011 at 4:54pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/10/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Mary / 07/10/2011 at 8:49am / United States / Love
by ugly / 07/10/2011 at 2:03am / United States (New York) / Transportation
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…