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About Glitterhinoceros : Please forgive if my English isn't perfect :c. My name is Brooke, and I live in Wales, which is in the UK x.X
I love people who are over 6', piggyback rides, toast, any kind of electro/tecktonik music, cuddling, and turtles c: I'm only like 5'2. Sad day. PINKIE PIE, BEEEEST FUCKING PONY.
Llamas. Nuff fucking said. Boners was like, my BFF and stuff :c BABY COME BACK, YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL, ON, ME?
I love people, I'm a happy person, and my family trade is welding x.X As long as people aren't Sidney Crosby, oh my gosh, I hope he dies in a fire, and gets hit by like, an Icecream truck, I just hope he gets like, stabbed by a walrus or something, oh my goodness I just hate him with a passion gaaaah, he ain't faaabulooous.
I love Ice hockey; Washington Captials, Ovechkin is my lover, He just doesn't know it yet. Crosby will die at our wedding.
GOT DEM PAAARAGRAPHS AND SHIT, WRITIN A STORY OVER HERE, AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIIIIME FO PARAGRAPHS, DON'T GIVE TWOO SHITS.
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Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML
Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML
Friday 21 November 2014