Glitterhinoceros

Search for a member

Glitterhinoceros

53Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 November 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7885
  • Number of comments : 293
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About Glitterhinoceros : Please forgive if my English isn't perfect :c. My name is Brooke, and I live in Wales, which is in the UK x.X
I love people who are over 6', piggyback rides, toast, any kind of electro/tecktonik music, cuddling, and turtles c: I'm only like 5'2. Sad day. PINKIE PIE, BEEEEST FUCKING PONY.

Llamas. Nuff fucking said. Boners was like, my BFF and stuff :c BABY COME BACK, YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL, ON, ME?

I love people, I'm a happy person, and my family trade is welding x.X As long as people aren't Sidney Crosby, oh my gosh, I hope he dies in a fire, and gets hit by like, an Icecream truck, I just hope he gets like, stabbed by a walrus or something, oh my goodness I just hate him with a passion gaaaah, he ain't faaabulooous.

I love Ice hockey; Washington Captials, Ovechkin is my lover, He just doesn't know it yet. Crosby will die at our wedding.

GOT DEM PAAARAGRAPHS AND SHIT, WRITIN A STORY OVER HERE, AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIIIIME FO PARAGRAPHS, DON'T GIVE TWOO SHITS.

Glitterhinoceros's page activity

Visits<b>nickbuckley</b> - yesterday at 1:54am<b>Zetom</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 4:13am<b>TheFlyingP3nguin</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 5:22pm<b>HoboRain</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 5:05pm<b>Red_Ralph</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 7:07pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 12:09pm<b>vsinha</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 10:43pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 4:11pm<b>Iyotanka</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 8:22am<b>Splandido</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 11:04pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 11:32pm<b>lieutenantdan97</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 12:58pm<b>H4S_3229</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 9:15pm<b>Wolverine48Ga</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 3:11pm<b>GridironGeff</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 10:06am<b>sturgii</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 10:00pm<b>anak36</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 10:32pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 2:21pm

Fucked!<b>Red_Ralph</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 1:07am<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 1:26am<b>YDISM</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 8:24pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 5:52pm<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 2:22pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 10:46pm<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 12:51pm<b>Zacholicious</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 6:59pm<b>goodshadow2163</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 7:08pm<b>Immortal_Toaster</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 9:59am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 3:28am<b>zuvi9</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:07am<b>radiocaf</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 11:12am<b>sythe511</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:02am<b>krazy789</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 5:20am<b>Texan_here_</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 11:23pm<b>blackeyeidiot</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 5:19am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 12:45pm

Glitterhinoceros's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Glitterhinoceros's badges

Glitterhinoceros's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

by dafuqdidihear / 08/11/2012 at 2:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at a gas station when the cash register made a sound effect similar to one from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I pointed this out. The cashier then saw fit to go on a rant about how I need to stop focusing on video games, and get a life and a girlfriend. FML

by Marcowalker95 / 08/07/2012 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML

by Lola / 07/23/2012 at 12:31am / Animals

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

by Luna / 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML

by butterball / 07/18/2012 at 10:41am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Work

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my end of year physics exam. I wasn't sure about some stuff, so I hid my notes and textbook in the bathroom. Halfway through, I got up, went to the bathroom, and as soon as I picked up the book, forgot what I was looking for. I can't even cheat right. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2012 at 3:23am / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I shaved my legs. I received endless compliments about how great they looked, and how jealous all the girls were. I'm a guy who shaved them for a themed party, for which I dressed up as a girl. FML

by eviltwigster / 06/26/2012 at 12:16pm / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

by habbsrule / 06/15/2012 at 10:21am / Canada / Kids

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

by Scared / 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML

by CA19oo / 05/27/2012 at 9:13am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm / United States / Health