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Glitterhinoceros

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Glitterhinoceros

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 November 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5233
  • Number of comments : 293
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About Glitterhinoceros : Please forgive if my English isn't perfect :c. My name is Brooke, and I live in Wales, which is in the UK x.X
I love people who are over 6', piggyback rides, toast, any kind of electro/tecktonik music, cuddling, and turtles c: I'm only like 5'2. Sad day. PINKIE PIE, BEEEEST FUCKING PONY.

Llamas. Nuff fucking said. Boners was like, my BFF and stuff :c BABY COME BACK, YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL, ON, ME?

I love people, I'm a happy person, and my family trade is welding x.X As long as people aren't Sidney Crosby, oh my gosh, I hope he dies in a fire, and gets hit by like, an Icecream truck, I just hope he gets like, stabbed by a walrus or something, oh my goodness I just hate him with a passion gaaaah, he ain't faaabulooous.

I love Ice hockey; Washington Captials, Ovechkin is my lover, He just doesn't know it yet. Crosby will die at our wedding.

GOT DEM PAAARAGRAPHS AND SHIT, WRITIN A STORY OVER HERE, AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIIIIME FO PARAGRAPHS, DON'T GIVE TWOO SHITS.

Glitterhinoceros's page activity

Visits<b>deepfreeze78</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Damafia</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 9:09am<b>tucansamTommyG</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 5:29am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 8:28pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Kyqk</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:46am<b>pasta_power</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:42pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:04pm<b>fmlderp123</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:37pm<b>maxsing</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:21am<b>Randomness90</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 9:19pm<b>lameuser</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 9:24am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:55am<b>teentee401</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 7:40am<b>DAN_THA_GR8</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Duck645</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:58am<b>GGfrosty</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:14am<b>Basketballegend</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:55am

Glitterhinoceros's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Glitterhinoceros's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60380) - you deserved it (9124)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

#20632794
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58503) - you deserved it (7649)

On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

#20628087
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53160) - you deserved it (6541)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML

#20612533
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67344) - you deserved it (4756)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:58am - love - by Stupid (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43928) - you deserved it (8325)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63542) - you deserved it (3043)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out through his Facebook update and a text message that my fiancé demoted me to girlfriend status. I was sitting in the next room. FML

#20547323
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30482) - you deserved it (2727)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23474) - you deserved it (9497)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32115) - you deserved it (5470)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (3316)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59226) - you deserved it (3046)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

#20076675
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24901) - you deserved it (2294)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

#20053590
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11862) - you deserved it (33060)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

#20039859
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21434) - you deserved it (7103)

On 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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