Glitterhinoceros

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Glitterhinoceros

52Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 November 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7525
  • Number of comments : 293
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About Glitterhinoceros : Please forgive if my English isn't perfect :c. My name is Brooke, and I live in Wales, which is in the UK x.X
I love people who are over 6', piggyback rides, toast, any kind of electro/tecktonik music, cuddling, and turtles c: I'm only like 5'2. Sad day. PINKIE PIE, BEEEEST FUCKING PONY.

Llamas. Nuff fucking said. Boners was like, my BFF and stuff :c BABY COME BACK, YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL, ON, ME?

I love people, I'm a happy person, and my family trade is welding x.X As long as people aren't Sidney Crosby, oh my gosh, I hope he dies in a fire, and gets hit by like, an Icecream truck, I just hope he gets like, stabbed by a walrus or something, oh my goodness I just hate him with a passion gaaaah, he ain't faaabulooous.

I love Ice hockey; Washington Captials, Ovechkin is my lover, He just doesn't know it yet. Crosby will die at our wedding.

GOT DEM PAAARAGRAPHS AND SHIT, WRITIN A STORY OVER HERE, AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIIIIME FO PARAGRAPHS, DON'T GIVE TWOO SHITS.

Glitterhinoceros's page activity

Visits<b>GridironGeff</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 10:06am<b>sturgii</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 10:00pm<b>anak36</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 10:32pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 2:21pm<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 2:26pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 11:52am<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 7:25pm<b>YDISM</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 2:22pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 6:08pm<b>CauznCaos</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 1:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 4:44am<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 2:57pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 5:16pm<b>Lilo4life</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 5:28am<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 2:03am<b>jbivens1992</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 5:39pm<b>Blissment</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 9:28pm<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 8:21am

Fucked!<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 1:26am<b>YDISM</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 8:24pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 5:52pm<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 2:22pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 10:46pm<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 12:51pm<b>Zacholicious</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 6:59pm<b>goodshadow2163</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 7:08pm<b>Immortal_Toaster</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 9:59am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 3:28am<b>zuvi9</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:07am<b>radiocaf</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 11:12am<b>sythe511</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:02am<b>krazy789</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 5:20am<b>Texan_here_</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 11:23pm<b>blackeyeidiot</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 5:19am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 12:45pm<b>tobyw95</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 2:53pm

Glitterhinoceros's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Glitterhinoceros's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

by a tad whipped / 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm / Australia / Money

Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML

by Stupid / 04/22/2013 at 2:58am / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

by zahra_786 / 04/11/2013 at 5:11am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 12:59am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out through his Facebook update and a text message that my fiancé demoted me to girlfriend status. I was sitting in the next room. FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2013 at 6:14am / United States / Love

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

by mr_loveless / 02/11/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

by wtf yourself, cunt / 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

by screamer / 09/02/2012 at 2:41am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Work