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Glitterhinoceros

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Glitterhinoceros

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 November 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5500
  • Number of comments : 293
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About Glitterhinoceros : Please forgive if my English isn't perfect :c. My name is Brooke, and I live in Wales, which is in the UK x.X
I love people who are over 6', piggyback rides, toast, any kind of electro/tecktonik music, cuddling, and turtles c: I'm only like 5'2. Sad day. PINKIE PIE, BEEEEST FUCKING PONY.

Llamas. Nuff fucking said. Boners was like, my BFF and stuff :c BABY COME BACK, YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL, ON, ME?

I love people, I'm a happy person, and my family trade is welding x.X As long as people aren't Sidney Crosby, oh my gosh, I hope he dies in a fire, and gets hit by like, an Icecream truck, I just hope he gets like, stabbed by a walrus or something, oh my goodness I just hate him with a passion gaaaah, he ain't faaabulooous.

I love Ice hockey; Washington Captials, Ovechkin is my lover, He just doesn't know it yet. Crosby will die at our wedding.

GOT DEM PAAARAGRAPHS AND SHIT, WRITIN A STORY OVER HERE, AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIIIIME FO PARAGRAPHS, DON'T GIVE TWOO SHITS.

Glitterhinoceros's page activity

Visits<b>empsparks02</b> - 10 hours ago<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - 10 hours ago<b>facelick</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Bisnaga</b> - yesterday at 5:53am<b>thedeej</b> - yesterday at 9:57pm<b>FreshDonuts</b> - yesterday at 9:06pm<b>kaikodama</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:15am<b>Salamander12</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:54am<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:38pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:57pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 3:31pm<b>joseph47</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:55am<b>Bree06</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:58am<b>qwerty401</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:13am<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:45pm<b>CarlosDanger</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 2:38pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 1:33am<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:54am

Liked!<b>Demonface54</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 5:52pm

Glitterhinoceros's FML badges

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Glitterhinoceros's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

#20973740
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38139) - you deserved it (3240)

On 11/28/2013 at 2:13pm - misc - by fuck me (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38203) - you deserved it (4105)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52405) - you deserved it (3297)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53596) - you deserved it (4226)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54959) - you deserved it (27610)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

#20877518
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22523) - you deserved it (67800)

On 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by lyfisdyno - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39382) - you deserved it (2925)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44323) - you deserved it (2987)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML

#20812711
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44917) - you deserved it (4808)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Bnewlove - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML

#20786212
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57088) - you deserved it (8081)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:06pm - love - by ronnieG (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

#20770545
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30193) - you deserved it (66532)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

#20752548
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45930) - you deserved it (3481)

On 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

#20730804
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35964) - you deserved it (5027)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Idontbelieveinmagic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

#20656177
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41231) - you deserved it (7149)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50089) - you deserved it (7075)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)



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