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Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27776) - you totally deserved it (1874)
On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I learned there is a taste difference between grabbing a glass of milk that has been sitting on your night table for a week and the one you put on there 3 minutes before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3093) - you totally deserved it (32035)
On 10/29/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by GlassJAwkidE (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5566) - you totally deserved it (19409)
On 10/06/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by limecat (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 118 year old house went from "family dwelling" to "official crime scene". 2 bodies were discovered under the cement in the basement when we began renovations on our new family home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38478) - you totally deserved it (1053)
On 09/24/2009 at 3:13pm - misc - by amory (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46773) - you totally deserved it (3529)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Wal-Mart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7892) - you totally deserved it (33029)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by lolreturn (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my boyfriend who likes to get high was driving me insisting he wasn't currently high. A family of deer was standing on the side of the road and he pulled over by them waited until they walked closer to us and said, "what seems to be the problem officers?" He wasn't kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15166) - you totally deserved it (25778)
On 08/07/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Jstar - Sent from a mobile version
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of random names she thought of, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37583) - you totally deserved it (6823)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was lying in bed late at night trying to fall asleep. I blew my nose on a kleenex and was too lazy to get up and put it in the garbage. I threw it under my bed when I heard a whispery voice say "Thank you". It was my little brother trying to scare me. I peed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38498) - you totally deserved it (7557)
On 07/23/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17804) - you totally deserved it (50560)
On 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by anonamous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5194) - you totally deserved it (57831)
On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3935) - you totally deserved it (57423)
On 07/08/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by AmberKCole (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36470) - you totally deserved it (18494)
On 07/06/2009 at 6:51am - love - by dumpedovergame (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5533) - you totally deserved it (54723)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are suppose to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12257) - you totally deserved it (46244)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
