GlassJAwkidE

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GlassJAwkidE

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 September 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11144
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

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GlassJAwkidE's page activity

Visits<b>max_432</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 2:17am<b>teotsi</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 7:34am<b>Furby94</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 5:53pm<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 11:52am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:24pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:53pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 10/29/2009 at 4:39pm<b>summer66</b> - the 06/11/2009 at 7:08pm<b>jpi13</b> - the 06/11/2009 at 1:50pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 8:50pm<b>gimpymonster</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 8:09pm<b>logan_cougars</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 8:48pm<b>chubs</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 5:46pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 4:58pm<b>assman266</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 2:37pm

GlassJAwkidE's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

GlassJAwkidE's favorite FMLs

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

by notsohappyniece / 11/02/2009 at 11:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned there is a taste difference between grabbing a glass of milk that has been sitting on your night table for a week and the one you put on there 3 minutes before. FML

by GlassJAwkidE / 10/29/2009 at 1:16am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

by limecat / 10/06/2009 at 3:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

by demk / 08/20/2009 at 10:51am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Wal-Mart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML

by lolreturn / 08/16/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

by anonamous / 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML

by AmberKCole / 07/08/2009 at 2:45pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML

by dumpedovergame / 07/06/2009 at 6:51am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

by kat9232000 / 06/19/2009 at 12:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

by dumbo / 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

by FMLFMLFMLFML / 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

by Angelofkarma / 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love