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About GizmoEllie : Me and my boys run the Everglades and the Virgin Islands;
I
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34139) - you deserved it (2221)
On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (3834)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9639) - you deserved it (36727)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you deserved it (2588)
On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45521) - you deserved it (20384)
On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39957) - you deserved it (6218)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (23805)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35529) - you deserved it (6773)
On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)
Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22613) - you deserved it (4470)
On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22326) - you deserved it (2298)
On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12050) - you deserved it (33306)
On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16852) - you deserved it (31085)
On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40814) - you deserved it (31815)
On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7188) - you deserved it (43410)
On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56396) - you deserved it (4915)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
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