Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Gixie

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

Gixie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 January 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2692
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Gixie : I have actually been using FML for well over a year before I decided to create a profile and then another six months before I decided to actually start using it. I'm actually disappointed that I could have been earning badges the whole time. FML.

Gixie's page activity

Visits<b>mistress_paz</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:46pm<b>hannahmae1357</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:50pm<b>rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 9:05pm<b>poppypoptarts</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:29pm<b>Silly_Lilly6969</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:40am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:35pm<b>TyChief</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 6:15pm<b>castleofg1ass</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 3:58am<b>Fou_Lou</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 11:16am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:06am<b>SilaOtlu</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 9:07am<b>jefsayed</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 4:13pm<b>Birdbath123</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 12:10am<b>koalabear_55</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 6:25pm<b>Esels_Hintern</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:45pm<b>that_spaz</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 2:13am<b>jahed100</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 2:57pm<b>UnknownDemon1406</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 1:40am

Gixie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Gixie's badges

Gixie's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

#20729679
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43880) - you deserved it (3881)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by not a brain cell in sight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

#20726673
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47911) - you deserved it (20244)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

#20724048
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51529) - you deserved it (3497)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

#20724048
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51529) - you deserved it (3497)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47933) - you deserved it (10770)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

#20713749
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44310) - you deserved it (8712)

On 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55115) - you deserved it (64230)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30813) - you deserved it (65612)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43049) - you deserved it (6988)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69288) - you deserved it (4238)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

#20698927
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45078) - you deserved it (4497)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65695) - you deserved it (18725)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

#20689621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45957) - you deserved it (4032)

On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML

#20688373
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48238) - you deserved it (10297)

On 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm - love - by JJLight (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: