Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Gixie

Online | Search for a member

Gixie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 January 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2358
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Gixie : I have actually been using FML for well over a year before I decided to create a profile and then another six months before I decided to actually start using it. I'm actually disappointed that I could have been earning badges the whole time. FML.

Gixie's page activity

Visits<b>hannahmae1357</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:50pm<b>rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 9:05pm<b>poppypoptarts</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:29pm<b>Silly_Lilly6969</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:40am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:35pm<b>TyChief</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 6:15pm<b>castleofg1ass</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 3:58am<b>Fou_Lou</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 11:16am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:06am<b>SilaOtlu</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 9:07am<b>jefsayed</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 4:13pm<b>Birdbath123</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 12:10am<b>koalabear_55</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 6:25pm<b>Esels_Hintern</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:45pm<b>that_spaz</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 2:13am<b>jahed100</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 2:57pm<b>UnknownDemon1406</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 1:40am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 10:30pm

Gixie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Gixie's badges

Gixie's favorite FMLs

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29664) - you deserved it (269264)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I got approached by a hot young lady in a bar. After joking around for a few minutes she said "hey I love your jacket, where'd you get that?". I then told her that it's actually a replica of the Indiana Jones jacket. This is when she remembered that she "had to go somewhere". FML

#1288123
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17496) - you deserved it (56788)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by cole (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to Britney's concert. About halfway through the show, the person next to me turns to me and asks, "Can you do me a favour?" Thinking that she wanted me to look after her stuff, I said sure. Her next sentence was: "Can you stop singing?" FML

#911681
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31700) - you deserved it (39617)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67265) - you deserved it (4727)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
927 comments

I agree, your life sucks (350952) - you deserved it (38714)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 8-year-old sister learned how to type her name into a phone using the number key-pad. I later found my phone on the kitchen counter with all my contacts under her name. FML

#740938
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61915) - you deserved it (9132)

On 04/01/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I ask him jokingly why he isn't wearing red. He looks at me weird and says, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML

#642666
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101677) - you deserved it (5216)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm - misc - by 1234567898765432 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

#505587
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71093) - you deserved it (11867)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML

#210139
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58379) - you deserved it (3514)

On 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1157243) - you deserved it (115937)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

#158758
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20493) - you deserved it (37591)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by RosaP (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML

#150971
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12254) - you deserved it (68663)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by Fenny (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
957 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73270) - you deserved it (425176)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: