About Gixie : I have actually been using FML for well over a year before I decided to create a profile and then another six months before I decided to actually start using it. I'm actually disappointed that I could have been earning badges the whole time. FML.
Gixie's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Gixie's favorite FMLs
by jolene11 / 05/16/2010 at 10:24pm / United States / Love
Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML
by JoshuaRob / 03/03/2010 at 1:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML
by Anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by masterzach21 / 01/22/2010 at 1:25am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I forgot to take a certain medication that helps turn my lead logs into flaky floaters. So what happens? I'm in the restroom for 30 minutes, straining to go, and two girls walk in and start imitating me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2010 at 9:18pm / United States / Health
Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML
by coinoperatedgirl / 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm / United States (Minnesota) / Geek
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
by PeanutlyDisabled / 01/08/2010 at 2:23am / France / Kids
Today, I put in an application to my local market for a job that I desperately needed. I was talking to the manager, he seemed pleased with my application and said he'll call me. As he walks into his private office, I hear the sound of a paper shredder. FML
by TheJuggla17 / 12/22/2009 at 12:45am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by ljjprchf / 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
by badwife / 11/07/2009 at 5:22am / Japan / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Pissed / 10/21/2009 at 6:05am / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Money
Today, I was participating in an exercise in my psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife". The person in that picture turned out to be my teacher. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 9:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML
by quietsleeper / 10/13/2009 at 7:07am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML
by Anonymous / 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…