Girreth

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Offline (the 09/28/2014 at 1:21am)

Girreth

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1302
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Girreth : Napoleon Borntoparty

It's a joke, not a dick - don't take it so hard

Girreth's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 3:26pm<b>lovecuteness32</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 3:31am<b>zonlach</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 8:22am<b>zach205</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 5:20pm<b>thesadboy</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:37am<b>derpytroll</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:29am<b>ZeroEnna</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:19pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:14pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 12:54pm<b>Karennnx</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 4:18am<b>McDiabeeto</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 6:47pm<b>Gooberglop</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 4:24pm<b>Mahak1099</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:41pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 4:42am<b>captainD</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:39pm<b>over9000skittles</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 8:52pm<b>ErzaScarlet</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 9:21am<b>nubbles10</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 9:23am

Girreth's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Girreth's badges

Girreth's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

by poordog / 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I received a $500 fine for an "unruly" dog. I don't have a dog. FML

by bill / 11/27/2009 at 8:48pm / United States / Animals

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

by fmysexlife / 07/27/2009 at 1:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML

by Jessey / 06/18/2009 at 9:05am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

by nevergoingonabusagain / 05/30/2009 at 2:52am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too, she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke, I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke, she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML

by your_mother / 05/13/2009 at 11:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

by calliefml / 04/26/2009 at 2:13am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

by tvaladie / 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

by warp_routine / 03/31/2009 at 10:17am / United States (Vermont) / Health

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love