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Girlhomie1o1

Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member

Girlhomie1o1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1208
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Girlhomie1o1 : Hey, I'm Maya. I like chillin with friends, playing sports, playing video games, dancing, and writing. I usually use FML on my iPod but if u message me I'll try to get back to u as soon as I can.

Girlhomie1o1's page activity

Visits<b>toenibbler</b> - the 03/27/2012 at 10:58am

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Girlhomie1o1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

#21086753
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37696) - you deserved it (32603)

On 03/14/2014 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by why - United States (California)

Today, a teenage girl bumped into me and my phone fell out of my hands, and over the Golden Gate Bridge. FML

#21081896
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54641) - you deserved it (5568)

On 03/09/2014 at 1:08am - misc - by Seriously? - United States (California)

Today, I confessed my love for the girl I like, on the forum she moderates. She responded by banning me. FML

#21074335
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35524) - you deserved it (14699) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2014 at 4:26pm - love - by Depirama (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

#20975074
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45749) - you deserved it (11228)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57198) - you deserved it (6782)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46851) - you deserved it (13198)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59160) - you deserved it (3665)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51021) - you deserved it (4692)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50768) - you deserved it (23572)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49264) - you deserved it (11064)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30213) - you deserved it (14519)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (36461)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36360) - you deserved it (3475)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML



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