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Ginger_Bastard

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Ginger_Bastard

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  • Number of visits : 899
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ginger_Bastard's page activity

Visits<b>drizzy11</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 6:56pm

Ginger_Bastard's FML badges

I moderated this!

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50 favourites

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Ginger_Bastard's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

#19374662
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21113) - you deserved it (2241)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25591) - you deserved it (6766)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28952) - you deserved it (18117)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35077) - you deserved it (2445)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38167) - you deserved it (5628)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26311) - you deserved it (4059)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML

#18991007
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27569) - you deserved it (3350)

On 02/04/2012 at 9:52am - love - by ac-hoo (woman) - India (Delhi)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48589) - you deserved it (8167)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

#18620963
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32198) - you deserved it (4318)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by maddie - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25751) - you deserved it (2543)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11438) - you deserved it (88870)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

#18424133
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37264) - you deserved it (5112)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML

#18350847
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7492) - you deserved it (58283)

On 11/25/2011 at 9:09pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

#18326234
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43176) - you deserved it (2626)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML

#18283192
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40521) - you deserved it (5830)

On 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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