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Ginger_Bastard

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Ginger_Bastard

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  • Number of visits : 2164
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Ginger_Bastard's page activity

Visits<b>drizzy11</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 6:56pm

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Ginger_Bastard's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

#21003791
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45728) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:48pm - misc - by jhulich (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39662) - you deserved it (5459)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39617) - you deserved it (4444)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52921) - you deserved it (8361)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

#20984257
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48568) - you deserved it (4542)

On 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by bella - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40172) - you deserved it (22335)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a wake. When my dad picked me up, I was still pretty upset. Just when I'd had enough of death, the car hits a raccoon on the way home. FML

#20980367
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35697) - you deserved it (4521)

On 12/04/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45957) - you deserved it (4838)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41515) - you deserved it (3775)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65145) - you deserved it (4832)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about super heroes." FML

#20921778
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50842) - you deserved it (3752)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54098) - you deserved it (3428)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the doctor's for an ultrasound, as I'm 7 months pregnant. Then he went home and took his wife out to dinner for her birthday. FML

#20911051
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31184) - you deserved it (88145)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by Cereal_mistress (woman) - United States (California)



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