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Ginger_Bastard

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Ginger_Bastard
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  • Number of visits : 160
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ginger_Bastard's favorite FMLs

Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML

#2637433
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75164) - you deserved it (4455)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm - health - by Michael (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my friends' farm and we decided that we wanted to go to their old treehouse. When we got down there, it turned out my friend Cat had forgotten her shoes. Being a gentleman, I lent her my sandals. I then climbed the treehouse, fell out, and got a nail through my foot. FML

#2267588
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53986) - you deserved it (5984)

On 05/25/2009 at 4:33am - animals - by jackelking (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving in my very own car that I bought and paid for myself, when I stopped at a stop light. Then I noticed the truck in front of me turn on his reverse lights. I honked desperately. He hits me, looks out the window and says "I see no damage" and drives away. FML

#2072486
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53538) - you deserved it (3037)

On 05/19/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a store to buy pants for a new job. A really hot guy helped me get a pair down from a high shelf so I could try them on. He had flirted with me so I hurried in the fitting room so I could go talk to him. Note to self: Check to see if you have pants on after trying on clothes. FML

#1953704
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9260) - you deserved it (45782)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by sweet92 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML

#1734899
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91885) - you deserved it (14362)

On 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm - love - by HidenSeek (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (65723)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML

#1547759
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62046) - you deserved it (8394)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by systeminitiated (man) - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks "Can I lick your leg?" FML

#898181
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49949) - you deserved it (20267)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:43am - intimacy - by cherry (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36490) - you deserved it (124639)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

#880527
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15578) - you deserved it (64362)

On 04/09/2009 at 1:04am - love - by skmusic (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML

#782957
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20069) - you deserved it (68363)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by healey16 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (159272) - you deserved it (9655)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

#683803
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62309) - you deserved it (23169)

On 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Hotsauce887 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

#677461
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95924) - you deserved it (21133)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I ask him jokingly why he isn't wearing red. He looks at me weird and says, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML

#642666
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94844) - you deserved it (4651)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm - misc - by 1234567898765432 - Canada (British Columbia)



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