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Gii13

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Gii13

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  • Number of visits : 150
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Gii13's page activity

Visits<b>K3ls3y117</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 10:38pm<b>floozle702</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 12:31pm

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Gii13's favorite FMLs

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40865) - you deserved it (6076)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43285) - you deserved it (3278)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29395) - you deserved it (3195)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28081) - you deserved it (2890)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36991) - you deserved it (12408)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27670) - you deserved it (4298)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14741) - you deserved it (38406)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41608) - you deserved it (4783)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

#20009087
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29949) - you deserved it (3991)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:02am - intimacy - by FMLMom - United States (California)

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

#20007431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (5724)

On 08/07/2012 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Nightmares - United States

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32108) - you deserved it (4762)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

#19956706
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32808) - you deserved it (3270)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by Awkward - United States (California)



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