About Ghosty546 : Computer science major, paper cut survivor, 5'8 of awesome.
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Ghosty546's favorite FMLs
by slim_breezy / 06/04/2016 at 3:41am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, while trying to sleep, my roommates were shouting in the next room. When I poked my head out to tell them to shut up, I was greeted to the sight of one of them with his knob duct-taped inside a gun holster, and the other one trying to rip it off. And they wonder why I'm not more social. FML
by NotEnoughBleach / 03/13/2016 at 11:58pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by sadandmad / 01/20/2016 at 11:09am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML
by enya / 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm / Luxembourg / Miscellaneous
by _Asykes_ / 11/24/2015 at 7:56pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I set my car's speed to 125km/h to pass the speed camera announced by a road sign. Sure of myself, for a laugh I flipped the bird as I went by. When the flash went off, I realised that the speed limit was 110 km/h, not the usual 130 km/h. FML
by yvon la moto / 11/06/2015 at 5:26am / Spain (Madrid) / Transportation
by spiderbaby / 10/06/2015 at 3:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML
by My Daughter Fails at Life / 09/25/2015 at 9:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by M / 09/20/2015 at 7:59pm / United Kingdom (North Somerset) / Intimacy
Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML
by dammit / 09/12/2015 at 4:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML
by EverettA / 09/11/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML
Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML
by Alice / 08/30/2015 at 8:13am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by MoxleyCrue / 08/17/2015 at 3:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…