About GhostDuck : I enjoy the randomness.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58044) - you deserved it (3204)
On 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by fd_uplife (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was helping my friend with her little sister's birthday party. We were playing a game where you get up and switch seats if you've done a certain thing. One girl said to switch if you've kissed a boy. I watched as 18 12-year-olds switched seats with each other. I stayed sitting. I'm 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40861) - you deserved it (6503)
On 07/03/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by neverbeenkissed (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10720) - you deserved it (75535)
On 07/03/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Uriah (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54845) - you deserved it (3192)
On 06/25/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by Emptyspace (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was shopping for my little sister's birthday. She loves manga. I've never read manga, so I bought a couple of novels from the "popular" shelf. Turns out if they have white covers it means they are "adult" books. I bought my sister a "lolicon" manga - filled with prebuscent naked girls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (14961)
On 06/21/2009 at 6:10pm - kids - by loli-conned (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44756) - you deserved it (3270)
On 06/17/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by automaticfail_00 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of thing. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12022) - you deserved it (35064)
On 06/14/2009 at 11:54am - intimacy - by Bes (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46829) - you deserved it (2267)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by dodgerkiss (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25515) - you deserved it (58792)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7701) - you deserved it (39568)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by crunkdrunk (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51133) - you deserved it (4331)
On 05/30/2009 at 12:24am - kids - by sdasdflkjas (woman) - United States
Today, I gave my 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10498) - you deserved it (56243)
On 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by firewait (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got rear-ended at a stoplight by a woman who had been doing her make-up while driving. She didn't get out to see if I was okay until she had finished perfectly applying both lipliner and gloss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46343) - you deserved it (1550)
On 05/10/2009 at 5:56am - misc - by disturbed (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went to Target. I was on my way to the bathroom when I find a huge mirror. No one was around so I started to see how my butt looked in my jeans, checked up my nose and fixed my bra. An older woman then walks out of a door next to the mirror and explains that it's a two-way mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14997) - you deserved it (32120)
On 05/08/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by cammy123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to donate blood for the first time. When they stuck the needle in my arm, I had a panic attack and begged that they take it out. The woman helping me told me she'd take it out in a moment and left. It was then that the Red Cross stole a pint of my blood while I had a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39803) - you deserved it (12427)
On 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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