About GhostDuck : I enjoy the randomness.
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Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23934) - you deserved it (21396)
On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was talking to this guy I liked at work. He was flirting with me, and everything was going great, I was so happy, until he started talking non-stop about the extent of his foot fetish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23781) - you deserved it (4555)
On 05/26/2010 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I met my boyfriend's extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me "Tilly" and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19580) - you deserved it (2833)
On 03/10/2010 at 9:54am - love - by NotTilly (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28907) - you deserved it (2292)
On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML
I agree, your life sucks (15472) - you deserved it (1374)
On 02/28/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by idonthavelice (woman) - China (Guangdong)
Today, I was really excited to be observing my first autopsy for my forensics class. Apparently so was the guy behind me. He barfed up ramen noodles all over my hair and back. I couldn't leave the room to clean up. For two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18571) - you deserved it (1071)
On 02/15/2010 at 8:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6112) - you deserved it (24530)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6112) - you deserved it (24530)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I went to the store to buy a new lego set, only to find there weren't any left in stock. I started crying before I could make it out of the store. Oh, and I'm eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6697) - you deserved it (30385)
On 02/14/2010 at 12:43pm - misc - by Tibblesthepengwin (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, my girlfriend of a couple of months texted me that she was very sad because her puppy had just passed away. Feeling sorry for her, I bought her another puppy of the same breed. I wrapped it in a blanket and placed it on the passenger seat and went to pick her up from school. She sat on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23290) - you deserved it (5798)
On 02/10/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My mother turned to me and said, "Wait you're actually gay? I thought you were just saying that to piss off your father." I came out to her when I was 16, and have confided in her about my past relationships. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22867) - you deserved it (3200)
On 02/04/2010 at 9:52am - love - by EchoDearEcho (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I met a guy online, and I realized the cyber sex I had with him was better than the sex I get from my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5090) - you deserved it (15718)
On 02/04/2010 at 9:51am - intimacy - by erin - Sent from mobile version
Today, some girl from Colorado called me. She knew my name. My Facebook. I had no idea how she got my number. She then asks me out. I say "sure" sarcastically. She then calls my girlfriend, who also lives in Colorado. Our relationship is now over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8467) - you deserved it (23345)
On 01/26/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Aaron (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7555) - you deserved it (15103)
On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that my supervisor has been submitting completed projects to our manager on time for everyone on the team but me. She has been deliberately making it appear as though I am weeks behind on my projects, when in reality I am one of the first ones done every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (1300)
On 01/20/2010 at 8:31am - work - by superscrewed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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