About GhostDuck : I enjoy the randomness.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25660) - you deserved it (2803)
On 02/10/2013 at 5:41am - work - by screwed - United States
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31432) - you deserved it (1964)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39774) - you deserved it (4976)
On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9459) - you deserved it (20435)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by drake86 - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)
Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19092) - you deserved it (4158)
On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)
Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17614) - you deserved it (1083)
On 12/09/2012 at 10:53pm - work - by bestnameright - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14021) - you deserved it (1010)
On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25570) - you deserved it (1536)
On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18848) - you deserved it (2879)
On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4144) - you deserved it (36207)
On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20382) - you deserved it (944)
On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19708) - you deserved it (2347)
On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10752) - you deserved it (2024)
On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21838) - you deserved it (3395)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17522) - you deserved it (1833)
On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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