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George597

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George597

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  • Number of visits : 219
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

#19981825
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22398) - you deserved it (4966)

On 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm - health - by *facefloor* (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

#19981825
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22398) - you deserved it (4966)

On 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm - health - by *facefloor* (man) - United States

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

#19981666
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (2532)

On 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm - kids - by Jessi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25813) - you deserved it (2120)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got on a two hour train ride to go to a concert. I had been so caught up in handling the train tickets that halfway to the concert, I realized I had left the concert tickets on my dresser. FML

#19981303
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21512) - you deserved it (7907)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by sirensaresexy - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house when we noticed her cat was missing. We saw it on the roof and so I thought I would try to look good by offering to go on the roof to retrieve it. The cat had climbed down when I got up there, and I have a fear of heights. Her mom had to help me down. FML

#19980789
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10678) - you deserved it (20152)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:10am - animals - by screw the cat (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

#19979933
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6334) - you deserved it (54106)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

#19939315
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32118) - you deserved it (5266)

On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

#19936728
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19388) - you deserved it (4555)

On 07/14/2012 at 10:43am - health - by Anonymous - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

#19936379
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12772) - you deserved it (28531)

On 07/14/2012 at 7:15am - intimacy - by zstarr - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML

#19935872
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15917) - you deserved it (30672)

On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

#19935617
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10903) - you deserved it (32795)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

#19920201
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22311) - you deserved it (5902)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18379) - you deserved it (36733)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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