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George597

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George597

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  • Number of visits : 72
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George597's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that just because you express mail something, it doesn't mean the post office won't still lose it. What did they lose? My signed marriage license. We spent all that time and money to get married on the day of our choosing, and our marriage isn't even valid. FML

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

#20009566
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34451) - you deserved it (3736)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

#20009342
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5818) - you deserved it (43834)

On 08/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by FutureMarine3658 - United States (Utah)

Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML

#20009222
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21992) - you deserved it (2208)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

#20008728
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21028) - you deserved it (2314)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:19am - money - by Heinz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

#20007867
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17015) - you deserved it (10602)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm - work - by Employee (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend's parents took pictures of my tattoos to make sure I'm "not affiliated with any gangs." I have never even been arrested. FML

#20005337
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18518) - you deserved it (3588)

On 08/06/2012 at 4:13am - love - by awkwardparents - United States (California)

Today, while in the store with my kids, they wanted to buy tampons because I am "getting cranky, and it should be that time of the month." FML

#19988318
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9784) - you deserved it (18848)

On 07/28/2012 at 12:17am - kids - by love_to_live - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38216) - you deserved it (8180)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

#19983177
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27262) - you deserved it (3045)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:03am - love - by Unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

#19982867
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8192) - you deserved it (24482)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:14am - misc - by Rochelle (woman) - United States

Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML

#19982859
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24500) - you deserved it (1614)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by arw - United States

Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML

#19982373
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34331) - you deserved it (1864)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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