GeniusInABottle

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Offline (the 08/10/2014 at 9:19pm)

GeniusInABottle

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3896
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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GeniusInABottle's page activity

Visits<b>Bustedbutsilent</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 4:23pm<b>mattjamt</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 8:47am<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:29pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:07pm<b>devilsaide</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:54pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:03pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 7:27am<b>yamzie47</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 12:20pm<b>sophiurr</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 4:57pm<b>trigger42</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 7:43pm<b>CASMITTY133</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 10:48pm<b>Got7Dorks</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 7:09pm<b>jnunez0517</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 3:54pm<b>Rallred32</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 6:20pm<b>Dailym27</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 4:31pm<b>tr_guy79</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 3:42pm<b>swick25</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 3:10pm<b>skellingtonfart</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 5:43am

GeniusInABottle's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of GeniusInABottle's badges

GeniusInABottle's favorite FMLs

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

by thanksdoc / 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Health

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

by Sovekipisse / 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm / France (Pays de la Loire) / Love

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

by fuckedbyahipster / 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm / Finland / Miscellaneous

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

by sugarysofalof / 06/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

by Oops / 06/10/2013 at 7:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

by Me / 06/03/2013 at 1:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML

by whyme / 05/31/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

by fuckshitcockwaffle / 05/31/2013 at 10:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love