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GeniusInABottle's favorite FMLs
by whatdoesitmatter / 10/01/2013 at 6:47am / India (Tamil Nadu) / Intimacy
by theynamedmeluke / 09/23/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by disappointed / 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by madden2014 / 09/19/2013 at 6:23pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, just like the last several days, I walked out to my car after class only to notice the Justin Beiber stickers arranged on my bumper and license plates. My dad put them there, and thinks it's just as hilarious as the first time. He has four packs of stickers left. FML
by NonBelieber / 09/18/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Alabama) / Transportation
by Kit / 09/16/2013 at 7:09am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love
by sleeplessinrichmond / 09/15/2013 at 2:02am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 11:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 9:29am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 9:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by mother to an ugly doll / 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML
by hipster glasses / 08/16/2013 at 7:08am / United States / Work
Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML
by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML
by SparkOfJade / 08/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Maryland) / Work
- Today, my dad told me to get on the bus alone while he takes a shower. The bus shows up around 9:11… Today, I had company coming over for a get together. We went upstairs to see my room only to find a… Today, I slipped in my washroom and fractured an ankle. I slipped on my own cum, while jerking off.…