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GeniusInABottle's favorite FMLs
by mookiemookie01 / 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm / Miscellaneous
Today, the feedback my teacher wrote on my English assignment was so horrible that it took me half an hour and help from both my parents to decipher it. It turned out to be a scathing criticism of my "poor communication skills". I hate my teachers. FML
by fluent in two, unlike you / 03/25/2014 at 2:42pm / Mexico / Miscellaneous
by chocochoco / 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a staff meeting, our boss sighed and asked why I'm always in the meetings instead of my co-worker. I reminded him that it's because I'm the department supervisor, not my co-worker. He wouldn't believe me until he saw it for himself in our personnel files. FML
by KBBL / 03/12/2014 at 12:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, during a lecture, my teacher jokingly talked about the time he was best buds with George Washington. Another student then asked, "Really? You knew him?" I'm in an advanced placement U.S. history class. FML
by Dsark / 02/19/2014 at 12:12am / United States (California) / Work
by fuck my goddamn life / 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML
by Evolution mama / 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work
by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/20/2014 at 3:23pm / United States (Kansas) / Health
Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML
by Kaddiscott / 01/20/2014 at 5:12am / Italy (Trentino-Alto Adige) / Miscellaneous
by jseid2 / 01/15/2014 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML
by anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted…