About GeneralySpeaking : If life gives you lemons, then life throws grapefruits at my face.
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GeneralySpeaking's favorite FMLs
Today, I got sent to the head teacher's office for doing "stupid hand gestures and disrupting the class". Yesterday my teacher told the class to do the same hand gesture to ask for permission to go to the toilet so it wouldn't interrupt her talking. FML
by Bad Teacher / 08/01/2014 at 1:24am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML
by jogginglikeitsmyjob / 07/31/2014 at 7:51am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML
by lostintdot / 07/31/2014 at 7:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, the city shut off our water, because they said we didn't pay the bill. Turns out, it was sitting on their desk the whole time. I guess sending someone out to turn off our water was easier than checking to see if we'd actually paid the bill. FML
by fedUPwithPEOPLE / 07/31/2014 at 3:35am / United States (Alabama) / Money
Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML
by heatherfeather22 / 07/30/2014 at 11:28pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/29/2014 at 2:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (California) / Kids
by d4rkxf0x / 07/22/2014 at 11:54am / United States (Texas) / Geek
Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML
by and the truth comes out / 07/22/2014 at 4:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by teegtwo / 07/22/2014 at 1:55am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML
by Anonymous / 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by someonepleasehelpme / 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by familyhatesme / 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by kittynapper / 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML
by lolateverything / 07/17/2014 at 12:25am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my bike brakes failed as I was going downhill. I ended up running a light and hit a car at… Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…