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GeneralTso14's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
GeneralTso14's favorite FMLs
Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
by anonymous / 09/13/2015 at 11:34am / Luxembourg / Work
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2015 at 11:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML
by fuck you btichass cuntshit / 08/20/2015 at 12:18pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML
by funnnyyyyy -_- / 08/01/2015 at 4:29am / Nepal / Animals
Today, I went out to inspect the backyard. There are now more than two dozen spiders hanging out and webs crossing from one side of the yard to the other. I have decided to surrender this territory. FML
by Skoff / 07/23/2015 at 5:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2015 at 7:52am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Kids
by Smeagogole / 07/02/2015 at 12:30am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous
Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML
by LZapped / 06/08/2015 at 9:35am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/03/2015 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by pheonixxe / 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm / United States (Wyoming) / Kids
by zzarzzur / 05/22/2015 at 2:55am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2015 at 12:17pm / Cyprus (Paphos) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…