About GeneralMotors : Hello person reading this!
I really don't have much to tell about me! Oh well.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21970) - you deserved it (9152)
On 03/01/2011 at 5:21pm - animals - by nothingisreal69 (woman) - Reserved
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44926) - you deserved it (12138)
On 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm - love - by Samyett (woman) - United States
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26266) - you deserved it (2345)
On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11164) - you deserved it (27494)
On 02/05/2011 at 5:54pm - misc - by Zeco - United States
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22607) - you deserved it (2795)
On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -
Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40069) - you deserved it (3032) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38042) - you deserved it (4376)
On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22842) - you deserved it (3278)
On 01/24/2011 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32105) - you deserved it (2418)
On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32933) - you deserved it (21130) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, it's the 3 month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19424) - you deserved it (7461)
On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24225) - you deserved it (10513)
On 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by ash (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31094) - you deserved it (8146)
On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91446) - you deserved it (10767)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (4769)
On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
