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GeneralMotors

Offline (the 08/08/2014 at 5:01am) | Search for a member

GeneralMotors

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1519
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About GeneralMotors : Hello person reading this!

I really don't have much to tell about me! Oh well.

GeneralMotors's page activity

Visits<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 8:55am<b>annabanana0328</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 7:13am<b>imabassist</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 9:01am<b>ddinspire6</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 5:30pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 10:47am<b>fuzz97</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 4:47am<b>musicalducky</b> - the 08/06/2012 at 7:15am<b>mrahhhhh</b> - the 08/28/2011 at 4:07am<b>lmc94</b> - the 04/18/2011 at 4:25pm<b>Darth_Eros</b> - the 04/13/2011 at 1:20am<b>Jimboom</b> - the 02/21/2011 at 3:56am

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GeneralMotors's favorite FMLs

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21091) - you deserved it (26587)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8570) - you deserved it (65250)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20603) - you deserved it (9294)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23072) - you deserved it (2710)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

#18984075
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36483) - you deserved it (4474)

On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35662) - you deserved it (3925)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

#18617176
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25302) - you deserved it (3836)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18615) - you deserved it (17284)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44607) - you deserved it (3463)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

#18078195
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30885) - you deserved it (4921)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:43am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

#18072283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33660) - you deserved it (2804)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:04pm - kids - by mew - Canada

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

#17999888
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30052) - you deserved it (5809) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - work - by Mayabie - France

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11729) - you deserved it (41598)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31614) - you deserved it (5184)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)



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