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GeneralMotors

Offline (the 08/08/2014 at 5:01am) | Search for a member

GeneralMotors

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1577
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About GeneralMotors : Hello person reading this!

I really don't have much to tell about me! Oh well.

GeneralMotors's page activity

Visits<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 8:55am<b>annabanana0328</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 7:13am<b>imabassist</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 9:01am<b>ddinspire6</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 5:30pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 10:47am<b>fuzz97</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 4:47am<b>musicalducky</b> - the 08/06/2012 at 7:15am<b>mrahhhhh</b> - the 08/28/2011 at 4:07am<b>lmc94</b> - the 04/18/2011 at 4:25pm<b>Darth_Eros</b> - the 04/13/2011 at 1:20am<b>Jimboom</b> - the 02/21/2011 at 3:56am

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GeneralMotors's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39382) - you deserved it (2925)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50855) - you deserved it (6468)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19755) - you deserved it (36445)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21929) - you deserved it (12249)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML

#20002664
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21603) - you deserved it (6376)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38268) - you deserved it (8184)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26088) - you deserved it (15696)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

#19699093
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18005) - you deserved it (1627)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by joanne (woman) - United States

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22958) - you deserved it (6019)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14212) - you deserved it (51261) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8424) - you deserved it (54791)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38244) - you deserved it (3601)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (2655)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

#19450814
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23773) - you deserved it (1871)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

#19430484
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21689) - you deserved it (4610)

On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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