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GeminiMentality's FML badges
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GeminiMentality's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML
by SmallAngel / 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by seamonkeys / 03/21/2013 at 5:42am / United States / Kids
by cheeseburglar_9000 / 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML
by bobthenun / 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Too manly / 03/20/2013 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML
by Anonymous / 03/19/2013 at 10:52pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML
by Anonymous / 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/19/2013 at 9:27pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML
by :( / 03/19/2013 at 4:12pm / United States (South Carolina) / Holidays
Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML
by Ann / 03/18/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Intimacy
Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML
by meetrasan / 03/17/2013 at 8:01pm / Money
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
by grandson of a p.o.s. / 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why my boyfriend likes to do my hair and makeup for me. Far from it being some kind of fetish or hobby, it's because he thinks I do such a crappy job that feels he has to apply it himself so I don't "embarrass" him when we're out in public together. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2013 at 5:01pm / Germany (Thuringen) / Love
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2013 at 2:41pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy