Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

GayBlowjob

Search for a member

GayBlowjob
  • Town/Country : Sarasota, U.S.A.
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2471
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About GayBlowjob : I'm Ereik.

If you want to get to know me any more, and it really means that much to you, you can message me. Otherwise, don't expect much out of me.

♡Flowers will wither away, but a bomb-ass booty is forever.♡

look at my shitty shit at sadusa.tumblr.com & @h20_d on insta

GayBlowjob's last visitors

CrystalCrew124ForeverSilent101wdthompson1sirpantselotmaximus_primemiiapaigexAttackAttackxAZ_Hockey_Duderegenerate

GayBlowjob's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of GayBlowjob's badges

GayBlowjob's favorite FMLs

Today, a coworker complimented me on losing weight, and said that she wished she could drop a few pounds too. I was too embarrassed to tell her that the only reason I've lost weight is because I haven't been able to afford to eat. FML

#20775505
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54264) - you deserved it (3389)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:20am - work - by shouldbehappyiguess (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML

#20773825
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56094) - you deserved it (3894)

On 07/10/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by mike - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48954) - you deserved it (8615)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58750) - you deserved it (3319)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39700) - you deserved it (19298)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47688) - you deserved it (2693)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27582) - you deserved it (5235)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44035) - you deserved it (3574)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47216) - you deserved it (10910)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72243) - you deserved it (16401)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

#20735044
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49707) - you deserved it (3062)

On 06/19/2013 at 11:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

#20732528
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34380) - you deserved it (5174)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by ProAwkward - United States (Texas)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46065) - you deserved it (6081)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61846) - you deserved it (2810)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37325) - you deserved it (3431)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: