Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

GayBlowjob

Search for a member

GayBlowjob

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4188
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About GayBlowjob : I'm Ereik.

If you want to get to know me any more, and it really means that much to you, you can message me. Otherwise, don't expect much out of me.

♡Flowers will wither away, but a bomb-ass booty is forever.♡

look at my shitty shit at sadusa.tumblr.com & @h20_d on insta

GayBlowjob's page activity

Visits<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:33pm<b>wdthompson1</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:24am<b>JessMac9000</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:28am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:12am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:40am<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 1:27pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:49pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 10:28pm<b>ChloeMiller18</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 1:57am<b>datuglykorean</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 8:22pm<b>CrystalCrew124</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 5:03pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 9:11pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 4:25pm<b>Atvelonis</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 11:45am<b>sirpantselot</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 10:36pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:05pm<b>miiapaige</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 10:31am<b>xAttackAttackx</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 2:19am

GayBlowjob's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of GayBlowjob's badges

GayBlowjob's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23836) - you deserved it (2770)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47223) - you deserved it (6001)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
274 comments

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

#20162727
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8211) - you deserved it (18714)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by talker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19140) - you deserved it (4268)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16353) - you deserved it (26898)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19579) - you deserved it (6370)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22240) - you deserved it (2493)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19514) - you deserved it (1386)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

#20145795
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33487) - you deserved it (3525)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27663) - you deserved it (2858)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

#20144510
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30517) - you deserved it (7450)

On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

#20143873
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28161) - you deserved it (4451)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:17am - love - by 123alleyesonme - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: