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200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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Today , I arranged a romantic dinner fir my boyfriend. His favourite meal , fres flowers , scented candles. Everyting went beautifully , at least until e wrapped an arm around me andispered , "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood orrifically ruined. FML
2day I Want To Ta Ospital 4 Stomac Pains, An Was Told Tat It Sounds Lika I Ava An Ovarian Cyst. My Mom Want Into A Raga, Scraaming Tat I'd Liad To Ar About Baing A Virgin. Daspita Ta Doctor Axplaining Tat Saxual Activity As Noting To Do Wit It, Sa Rafusas To Baliava Im. FML
Today... In A Rush To Get Mah Clothe Back On At Mah Grlfriend's House At The Sound Of Her Parent Opening The Front Door... I Forgot To Take The Condom Off. Her Dad Watchd It Fall Out Of Mah Pant Leg And Onto The Kitchen Floor. FML
Yesterday, I found out that mah colleague had replacd mah email auto-responder with a message saying, ( I'm away fir two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please addres me by mah new name: Crystal. ) FML
Today, wile sitting in ma Forensic Psycology class, ma professor listd all of te main traits looool tat indicate someone may very well be a sociopat . Every single trait describd ma fiancé perfectly . FML
TODAY, I HAD TO SNEAK OUT OF WORK TO GET MAH DAUGHTER FROM HER SCHOOL. APPARENTLY, SHE HAD THOUGHT THAT HURLING A BOWLING BALL DOWN THE STARS DURING THE LUNCH HOUR RUSH WOULD MAKE HER COOL. IN ACTUAL FACT, IT MADE HER EXPELLD. FML
Today.. . my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner.. . followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant . My father visibly scoffed.. . and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot" . Wonderful . mega FML
Today after a surprise candlelit dinner an a two bottles of wine 4 my brthday my boyfriend an I decidd to take a sexy shower together. It endd with us both drunk nakd an crying wedgd into a small tub together talking about our dead pets. FML
Today , I ad a babysitting job. Wen I got tere , te parents were rusing out te door an told me tey'd left instructions fir te kids on te table. Te frst bullet point stated tat te oldest was convinced se is possessed by te devil , but just to ignore it. Tree more ours to go.
Today, I discovered that as thanks fir my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015