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GarJon13

Offline (the 04/12/2014 at 5:01am) | Search for a member

GarJon13

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  • Number of visits : 39
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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GarJon13's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20072) - you deserved it (47016)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38653) - you deserved it (4255)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48542) - you deserved it (16242)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

#21130670
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42861) - you deserved it (6126)

On 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23606) - you deserved it (34215)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21803) - you deserved it (53717)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was walking around school alone and felt someone tap my back. I laughed and turned around to find no one was there. I felt confused when I felt the tapping again, which is when I chose to yell at the nearest person, "What?!" I later found out it was a bottle in my backpack tapping me. FML

#21112284
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32601) - you deserved it (10400)

On 04/13/2014 at 9:32pm - misc - by ohmygod582 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64948) - you deserved it (32511)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

#21074690
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21070) - you deserved it (39457)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57003) - you deserved it (3366)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38807) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

#20778274
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47031) - you deserved it (6874)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49940) - you deserved it (11636)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60478) - you deserved it (20217)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)



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