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About GangstaPenguin : I enjoy writing, and intelligence. The human mind is one of the most entertaining discoveries to me. I'm a teen, but my Mom prefers to call me a 64 year old relentlessly famished man trapped in a thin teen's body. I'm currently in a relationship. I'm weird as fuck. I'm pansexual. I believe afterlife but have no religion, which also means I don't believe I'd go to hell if I marry a female cx I'm a rocker at heart, and I'm currently learning to play guitar. Last, I enjoy emojis: o.o c: x3 cx :o n.n ^.^ >.>
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML
Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
Monday 30 November 2015