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GPT

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 504
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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GPT's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29867) - you deserved it (5138)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my manager saying that I won't need to work this weekend. Too bad I already cancelled a family vacation because he threatened to fire me if I didn't work this weekend. FML

#19998359
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23680) - you deserved it (1360)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:22pm - work - by Pizzaguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28007) - you deserved it (5157)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML

#19982373
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34373) - you deserved it (1864)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got on a two hour train ride to go to a concert. I had been so caught up in handling the train tickets that halfway to the concert, I realized I had left the concert tickets on my dresser. FML

#19981303
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21343) - you deserved it (7875)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by sirensaresexy - United States (New York)

Today, I got up at 4:30 am, went to my job as the newspaper guy. Nobody was there to open the door, it was raining and I was freezing. I decided to wait, because I really wanted my salary. At 6 o'clock my boss opens the door and says, "Oh, it's you. Well, you're fired. We can't pay you anymore." FML

#19225860
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29195) - you deserved it (1730)

On 03/06/2012 at 3:57am - work - by Shan007tjuuh (man) - Netherlands

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8415) - you deserved it (52725) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12755) - you deserved it (46546)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

#17851509
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20726) - you deserved it (3081)

On 09/27/2011 at 10:18pm - health - by MissPerspirent (woman) - Canada

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11936) - you deserved it (31072)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

#17714662
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35135) - you deserved it (2800)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30803) - you deserved it (12528)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

#17307885
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35272) - you deserved it (3568)

On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33587) - you deserved it (3653)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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