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GOVHQ

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GOVHQ

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1651
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About GOVHQ : Life, wish it would be better than it is.

GOVHQ's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

GOVHQ's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

#14830027
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36683) - you deserved it (6076)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -

Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep three hours. FML

#14650881
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9676) - you deserved it (29437)

On 01/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

#14646268
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21766) - you deserved it (2822)

On 01/20/2011 at 1:01am - intimacy - by welly223 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I drove to buy new sneakers to work out and lose weight. Coming out of the store, I saw someone had parked too close to me. I had to beg a stranger to back my car out for me, because no matter how I tried, I couldn't get into the driver's seat. FML

#14634779
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23753) - you deserved it (9447)

On 01/19/2011 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I let my dogs out, and then realized they didn't have their electric fence collars on. I ran inside to get the collars, then dashed out to put them on my dogs. I ran through the electric fence. The collars were on. FML

#14630933
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8164) - you deserved it (35600)

On 01/18/2011 at 8:49pm - animals - by fml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

#14463495
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38297) - you deserved it (7558)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, my mom told me that my new concealer is way too dark and makes my skin look hideously orange and uneven. I wasn't wearing any makeup. FML

#14347070
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29984) - you deserved it (4034)

On 12/26/2010 at 4:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother asked if he could borrow my razor, since he recently hit puberty and wanted to have a shave. I decided to be nice and let him. When he returned it half an hour later, I couldn't help but notice his facial hair was untouched. FML

#14329924
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35774) - you deserved it (7377)

On 12/25/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I used the restrooms at the shopping mall. The cleaning lady stepped in after me, immediately turned around and very demonstratively started spraying air freshener. FML

#14320804
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20011) - you deserved it (5932)

On 12/24/2010 at 5:52am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

#14277072
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44886) - you deserved it (3625)

On 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by morenita27 (woman) - Canada

Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML

#14272532
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9559) - you deserved it (57016)

On 12/20/2010 at 1:08pm - work - by Chloe - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML

#14272041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33660) - you deserved it (8904)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while registering at the grocery store, a customer came into my lane with a 100 piece boiled shrimp platter. Feeling hungry, I muttered "nom nom" under my breath. The old man called my supervisor. Apparently I called him a moron. FML

#14266887
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13340) - you deserved it (25920)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

#14263079
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37515) - you deserved it (5944)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -

Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML

#14246751
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51190) - you deserved it (4377)

On 12/18/2010 at 11:13am - love - by timor (man) - United States (Arizona)



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