Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

GOVHQ

Search for a member

GOVHQ

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1715
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About GOVHQ : Life, wish it would be better than it is.

GOVHQ's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

GOVHQ's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to dig into my savings to help my parents pay for their divorce. FML

#15479881
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43153) - you deserved it (3652)

On 03/25/2011 at 7:55am - misc - by Ineedjustice03 - Singapore

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70687) - you deserved it (15335)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46838) - you deserved it (8187)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48405) - you deserved it (7858)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

#15341200
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29512) - you deserved it (4192)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm - animals - by MacGrouber (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46017) - you deserved it (4206)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -

Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML

#15209199
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57504) - you deserved it (3680)

On 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm - misc - by poked - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37565) - you deserved it (2687)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML

#15016068
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46057) - you deserved it (5378)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by fmylife117 - United States

Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML

#15005478
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6134) - you deserved it (60340)

On 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by fail (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML

#15000344
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23701) - you deserved it (36286)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:56am - misc - by rhartnett11 -

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

#15000318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37807) - you deserved it (4441)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I arranged to have some flowers delivered at work for Valentine's Day so that my colleagues will think someone likes me. FML

#14967945
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25293) - you deserved it (19083)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:34am - love - by alone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get "hooked". The medication is anti-anxiety pills. I have horrible anxiety attacks that sometimes cause me to scratch my arms until they bleed. FML

#14931650
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35062) - you deserved it (3988)

On 02/11/2011 at 2:04am - health - by Eres (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: