GOVHQ

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GOVHQ

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 September 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2584
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About GOVHQ : Life, wish it would be better than it is.

GOVHQ's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

GOVHQ's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

by Come on / 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work with my dad. He told me the only reason he's letting me work with him over the summer is because I'm a friendless loser, and he didn't want me staying home getting fatter. FML

by recordyear / 08/09/2011 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was talking with my mom about getting my school photos retouched. I believe her exact words were, "They'll take one look at you, and charge me triple." FML

by yupppp / 08/08/2011 at 2:12pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML

by Jade / 04/25/2011 at 9:49am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Love

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

by Danny / 04/25/2011 at 9:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from a girl I was seeing. She said that she was falling for someone else, but she still liked me and couldn't decide what to do. Being the romantic (idiot) I am, I told her that she should do what would make her happiest, thinking that she would pick me. She didn't. FML

by HFCS / 04/18/2011 at 12:53am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

by ILiveWithMorons / 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

by CheeseyPotatoes / 04/11/2011 at 9:16am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my phone wasn't working properly. After sending out 40 texts and getting no replies, I decided to test my phone by sending it a text from my old phone. The text came through straight away. Turns out my phone's working perfectly and 40 people are just ignoring me. FML

by Ignored / 04/11/2011 at 5:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in IKEA when my friends and I thought it would be fun to play hide and seek. We all hid; I was in a good hiding spot. Half an hour later, I was still there. I texted my friends to see where they were. They all left to see a movie, and forgot about me. FML

by Nicole / 04/03/2011 at 3:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

by shelby / 03/30/2011 at 12:54am / United States / Health

Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2011 at 2:41pm / United States (North Carolina) / Geek

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

by Thatslife / 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Intimacy