This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I hear "Hey, ugly's back again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21376) - you deserved it (1914)
On 01/18/2010 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my grandma told me to fuck off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22963) - you deserved it (4697)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38497) - you deserved it (2230)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29265) - you deserved it (4176)
On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I work as a cashier, and Iike always I asked the customer paying credit to sign the "sheet" of paper. I recieved a dirty look from one woman who apparently talked to the manager about me, saying I had asked her to sign the "shitty" paper. I have now been warned for "derogatory language." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20794) - you deserved it (1758)
On 10/29/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up very hung over after a big party last night. As I walked into my kitchen to make something to eat, I noticed a weird smell. Turns out my friend had thrown up in my freezer, and then turned off my whole fridge so "it wouldn't freeze and be hard for me to clean up in the morning." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19554) - you deserved it (2993)
On 10/14/2009 at 9:16pm - misc - by Pimp53X (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27097) - you deserved it (2767)
On 09/30/2009 at 1:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43732) - you deserved it (6254)
On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58456) - you deserved it (3710)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10345) - you deserved it (38641)
On 06/09/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by purrtygirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84619) - you deserved it (4525)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, I was cleaning my father's study room and wondering why I did not receive my acceptance/rejection letter from a college I really wanted. I found the acceptance letter, on his desk, also approving of a full scholarship. The deadline to confirm was a month ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (141444) - you deserved it (5476)
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (67352) - you deserved it (17978)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53175) - you deserved it (417477)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47115) - you deserved it (11844)
On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
