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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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GFLiE

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GFLiE
  • Town/Country : Easton, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 March 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1710
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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GFLiE's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (29205) - you deserved it (2024)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (16806) - you deserved it (7200)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

#9067691 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (25056) - you deserved it (4138)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by Cooky (man) - United Kingdom (Calderdale)

Today, a guy at work told me to "relax dude", all day long. FML

#8622338 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (11826) - you deserved it (3855)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:57pm - work - by Herman - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (26943) - you deserved it (2203)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I was working when an older lady came up to buy a coffee. Her son cried for a cup of whipped cream to snack on. She shook her head, silently telling me to say no. I said we were out. The mother took her drink and said, "I'm sorry honey, but the mean man said you couldn't have any." FML

#8069688 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (2212)

On 02/09/2010 at 10:32pm - work - by nichaneely (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

#7894652 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (19931) - you deserved it (743)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML

#7490616 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (36710) - you deserved it (2838)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

#7490494 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (50388) - you deserved it (2868)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I hear "Hey, ugly's back again." FML

#7426136 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (19980) - you deserved it (1743)

On 01/18/2010 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandma told me to f*** off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML

#7391871 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (20761) - you deserved it (4415)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (36032) - you deserved it (2052)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (27602) - you deserved it (3908)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I work as a cashier, and Iike always I asked the customer paying credit to sign the "sheet" of paper. I recieved a dirty look from one woman who apparently talked to the manager about me, saying I had asked her to sign the "shitty" paper. I have now been warned for "derogatory language." FML

#6057251 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (19463) - you deserved it (1621)

On 10/29/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up very hung over after a big party last night. As I walked into my kitchen to make something to eat, I noticed a weird smell. Turns out my friend had thrown up in my freezer, and then turned off my whole fridge so "it wouldn't freeze and be hard for me to clean up in the morning." FML

#5835265 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (18228) - you deserved it (2790)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:16pm - misc - by Pimp53X (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.