About GDIZZLE93 : I love baseball and girls ;) Hit me up :)
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (31192)
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21744) - you deserved it (3610)
On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12505) - you deserved it (29421)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23523) - you deserved it (3792)
On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19379) - you deserved it (3848)
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19379) - you deserved it (3848)
Today, I found out how it feels when a refrigerator door unhinges and falls on your toes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (1427)
On 02/01/2012 at 12:06am - health - by kb - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out how it feels when a refrigerator door unhinges and falls on your toes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (1427)
On 02/01/2012 at 12:06am - health - by kb - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26628) - you deserved it (2592)
On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (4551)
On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9456) - you deserved it (22889)
On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16678) - you deserved it (2263)
On 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm - misc - by unknown - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26008) - you deserved it (2162)
On 11/15/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by SetoAyumi - United States (California)
Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26729) - you deserved it (3215)
On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29912) - you deserved it (5782)
On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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